I’m Tough!

Do you see those stretch marks? I see them and I am proud of them. I was tough carrying and giving birth to my 3 kids. It changed my body, it changed my mind and it changed my life. I wouldn’t trade a moment of it for anything.

In the last 30 days I have sold our old family home and moved the kids and I to a new place. It’s way smaller but it suits us well. We put boxes in the basement to make room for holiday decorations. We made it through the first 3 weeks at the new school and yes it was tough. The kids did awesome and have made new friend and have also kept their grades up. I am so proud of them. It was something I didn’t want to do but had to do. I am hoping that as they get older they will see the decision I had to make was to keep us finaincially strong . I have gained extra hours with the during the week and I have the priviledge of taking them to school everyday. I have always wanted to have that chance. It is a blessing every day even during the craziness…lol

In the last two years tough choices have been made…some by myself and some by others. I have learned from them all. I have buried my pride on more then one occassion for my kids. I look at my stretch marks and I know I have earned them in so many ways. The love for my children makes me the person I am today. But the love I have found for myself is awesome too. Finding the balance between divorced mom and mom is intersting.

I am tough….. God has made me tough. The kids make me strong. I make myself Tough and Strong. The drama is never ending. The anger towards me is unfair, but I pray every night that peace will come. As I thought about what 2015 will bring for me and my kids I looked at my marks and thought no matter what “We Got this!” We will live by this quote again this year…..” You never know how strong you are until being storng is the only choice you have”

BURN IT OFF!

 

These tattoos were our 10 year anniversary gifts to each other. My ex worked in construction and stopped wearing his ring. I will admit, after being married for 9 years and then he stopped wearing it gave me cause for concern. Yes, don’t wear it to work, but when you get home or on the weekends put it on. The rings were the symbol of our love and commitment we made to each other before God. Instead of wearing the ring he came up with the tattoo idea.

I do not regret getting my tattoo. I thought about what to do with it for months. My ex went and had his covered up 2 days after I filed for divorce. He went home to get support from his family…or at least that is what he told the kids and I. He really went to Vegas for some fun and to go out. I have taken my time to consider what to do with my tattoo. It has sentimental meaning. I do not regret my marriage. I have 3 amazing children because of the love I once shared with my ex.

I made the decision on November and went and had my first laser treatment. They burn the tattoo off. This is pain like you can not even imagine. Today, I am going for my second treatment and I fear the pain. So I started to think last night about what pain in worse. The physical pain of the tattoo removal or the after emotional pain of divorce.

No one can ever tell you what your life will be like after the divorce. Burning off the tattoo will not make me forget it was there or that the marriage is over. Removing it and placing a new tattoo somewhere else on my body that symbolizes my love will help me heal. I am thinking of putting three small hearts on my wrist. One blue, one purple and one pink. My 3 hearts that I carry with me everyday of my life.

I will go and burn off the tattoo that once symbolized my marriage and in turn I will gain a new perspective on what I want in life.

My life.

My new life.